3 Things I’d Tell My Son if He Could Understand Me

Sawyer is my son. He is a little over 2 years old at this moment in time.

We spend a lot of time together throughout the week because I work from home. I’m not going to lie. My days right now mostly feel like insanity. This little boy doesn’t stop going from good morning, baby to night night time. My experience is a constant back and forth of frustration and oh my god, you’re the most amazing thing that ever existed – hilariousness.

And while I’m positive that on any given day he knows more than he lets on, we spend the majority of our time together attempting to understand what the other one of us is saying.

If right now, he could grasp all my mind has to offer him, this is what I would say…

1. I Admire Your Wild

While running around the living room trying to dodge a mouth full of toddler-sharp teeth isn’t my idea of a lazy Sunday afternoon, I admire his wild. There is a fierceness that lives in this child. One that rages strong. I’ve often called him a bulldozer, because he lets nothing stand in his way. (Except maybe dirt. He hates dirt.) The way he screams at the top of his lungs and throws things across the room – it’s liberating. Sometimes, I want to do just that. And he does, without thinking. Without caution or hesitation. He sets himself free, over and over again. I intend to raise Sawyer as a respectful, courteous man. But I will never, ever ask him to tame the true essence from which his wild came. That is his and his alone.

ocean sawyer

2. Do Not Avoid Your Softness

There are these moments. These very brief moments and rare occasions. When he wants something badly enough and he’s not too hyper. And when he knows I’m trying to ignore him. Sawyer will come over to me, take both of his beautiful tiny hands, place them on either of my cheeks, get really close to my face and make his request. Usually for food. And while he’s doing this to get my attention, I usually start to cry.

I had this dream when I was pregnant with him, of this gorgeous, tall, blonde, blue eyed man. We were standing on a dock, over some water, and I felt an overwhelmingly infinite amount of love for him wash over me. This wasn’t anyone I recognized and it wasn’t a romantic kind of love. I remember walking up to him, looking him in the eyes, placing both my hands on his cheeks and I saying “thank you” in the most sincere fashion. It was a vivid experience that I remember, even emotionally, very well.

That man in my dream, I now know, was my beautiful, blue eyed baby. He reminds me to be soft. To stay vulnerable. And so to him, I say, don’t forget your softness. Don’t forget the infinite pool of love that lives within you. It’s what you’re made of. It’s where the real beauty of life and connection lives. Without it – we are only human. And what’s the fun in that?


3. Your Peace & Happiness Are What Matters Most

I’ve always been a naturally, happy person. But I know for sure that in my upbringing, “being happy” wasn’t on the top 10 list of things to keep in mind while pursuing my future endeavors. And the experience of inner peace, well – I’m positive that it only started becoming a regular thing for me in the last few years. If Sawyer could understand me – I would tell him to put these two things first. But not one without the other. 

When you find your inner well of peace, you are steady. You can hear the voice of the Divine within you, directing you, guiding you to new possibilities. Happiness on top of this experience is of the highest form. It is in alignment with our true path of love and light. It is when we are most powerful and when we can make the most difference in the world because our energies become amplified with this pairing. So, I would say to my dear son – seek peace and you will find happiness.

It’s probably a good thing he can’t understand me right now. He’d be one strange toddler. I’d have to give him his own YouTube Channel or something. And it’s probably too soon for something like that, right?  🙂

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