Today, I have 30 days left until my due date.
In approximately 30 days, I will meet my Son. >tears<
My world will be forever changed.
I will be forever changed. The Mister too.
I will face challenges and adventures that I have yet to foresee.
I wonder what he will look like.
I wonder who he will become in this world.
I wonder if I can be good enough for him.
If I can provide him with all that he’ll ever need to become everything he’s ever wanted.
I wonder how it will change my relationship with The Mister.
Will it strengthen us or weaken us? I pray we grow stronger.
What kind of Mother will I show up as? What kind of Mother will I become?
Will he be a peaceful, loving boy? Or will he constantly test my boundaries?
Maybe, probably both.
What if he ends up being a girl?
I want this journey of Motherhood to strengthen my spirituality. I feel it already has. I want it to continue.
I want to Mother with kindness and love. I want to teach him that his own ideas and values are the most important thing in the world.
I don’t want to treat him like a stereotype. He is his own person.
I want to support his gifts and passions. I want to hold him close and let him go.
I want my marriage to be an example of amazing love for him and for us.
I want to remain open to love and surrender in the moments when I am most fearful of what is to come.
I want to be a Wife, Mother, Woman that feels and exuberates peace and love.
I want to be courageous in the face of fear.
I want to be strong and vulnerable.
I want to trust myself. My inner voice.
I want to lean into this gift, as it quickly and swiftly unfolds before my very eyes.
30 days to go – so curious at what the future will hold.