I did a bad thing

I spent all day at the car dealership and just wanted to have a cocktail with my girlfriends.

There were laughs and friends and fun and good music and yes, cocktails. Three rum and cokes to be exact.

And then I saw him, across the bar. My blood began to boil and I felt a pit in my stomach.

I’ve never had an encounter with him that left me feeling good about myself in any way. In fact, he just might be the least love-filled person I’ve ever met in my life.

And I let him know just that. I believe the word I used was “douche bag”.

It only got worse from there.

I got home and felt…. ashamed. Of my behavior. Of my words.

Love and kindness was not the priority of my inebriated mind.

I continued to let myself experience the shame over and over and over and over again.

And this morning, today – in the light of my darkness, I know that I must let this go. Stop telling the story. Forgive – myself and him. I made a mistake. I steered off my path; briefly. But circling the pond of douche is not going to heal it.

Only realigning my energy with my higher purpose will.

I am writing this to forgive myself. And so that you might forgive yourself too. For whatever torment is taking place in your mind. For whatever reason it might be there.

How am I going heal my own douche-baggery? I’m going to write a letter his higher-self (because his Earthly-self could/would likely not have this conversation with me). I’m going to ask for his forgiveness and apologize. I’m going to shower him with love, because I know he needs it. I’m going to ask that our encounters from now on be peaceful. I’m going to let go. Forgive. And have Faith.

What can you do to make it right? If there is something – do it. If there is nothing – move on. Do better next time. Forgive yourself. Realign. It’s the only way to peace.

And we all deserve peace.

 
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