What if I don’t know what I want?

You don’t have to be fearless. Just be sincere.

- Danielle Laporte

In this moment I’m sitting in a pool of uncertainty. I only realized a moment ago that what my current experience was lacking is gratitude.

I’ve been so focused on the fear of not knowing where to “go next” that I’ve completely skipped out on dancing in the gratitude. And that, after all, is where the magic is.

You see, The Mister and I have this amazing life.

Our Wee One is kick-ass and healthy, we have a good balance of alone time and baby time. The Mister got a promotion of sorts and we picked a moving date for next year to acquire our own place (we currently live with fabulous roommates at the moment, but know we will need our own space eventually.)

I’ve been able to get some of my own work done and we have food in our bellies.

But this new life – with kids, more money and a greater responsibility to other people is very new to me.

Mostly, I’ve looked out for myself. 

This new space feels so much bigger. Blank. Which I know means that I can now create whatever I want! But it’s difficult for me to envision in this new space.

I start to paint and nothing shows up. 

My mini revelation earlier today when I realized that it was gratitude missing from the equation was my turning point. 

I still don’t know exactly what I want for our new life, but I do know I want to experience joy daily and dance in the sparkles of gratitude. So I think I’ll start there.

Let’s talk about it: What could you give thanks to in place of your fear?

One Response to What if I don’t know what I want?

  1. Christine
    - September 24, 2012 Reply

    I usually fall back on the thought that, “Right now, at least, everything is ok~ I’ve got stuff to be thankful for, at the moment.”
    Sometimes, in the right-now, everything is great, and it’s only the thought of the icky possibilities for the future that have me dipping into fear.
    Right now, at least, we’ve been able to pay the bills. Right now, at least, everything in my life is making me happy. Right now, I’m in love and enjoying my life. I’ve got no guarantees for the future, but I know Divine Love can totally make it all work out great!
    I don’t know~ just realizing that I DO believe that about Divine Love being able (and willing!) to make it all work out superbly, usually makes me calmer, when I’m thinking fear-based stuff.

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