The first 17 weeks of my pregnancy were miserable.
I was nauseous everyday, all day. It seemed as though an energy vampire that fed on creative juices came to visit me every night in my sleep to steal my glow.
I came to a point where I felt I had to accept that “this is who I am now”.
During this time, I had the pleasure of working with Emily Eldredge of The Drawing Out Process.
I remember, she called me to introduce herself and her work to me. I had never spoken to this woman before in my life and about 5 minutes into the conversation I am bawling.
Hysterically. Snot running all over the place. Doing the crying thing that sounds like you have the hiccups – you know what I’m talking about.
Apparently Emily was the first one who I had opened up to and been completely honest with about what I was experiencing during this pregnancy.
Those first 17 weeks were the closest I have ever come to experiencing depression.
I felt like I had lost the Megan I had grown so fondly of and might never get her back.
During my Drawing Out Process Session with Emily, we got in touch with the sad side of myself that I had been ignoring and trying to repress for fear of what she might say or do.
That is kind of what the session felt like for me. I named this part of myself, Shelly. And we began talking to Shelly about why she was sad, what she wanted and how I could help her.
The answers I got were remarkable.
Turns out this scary, dark figure inside of me was actually a scared a little girl who felt pushed in the corner and ignored.
She didn’t understand why she couldn’t be “colorful like the other people“.
What I got by the end of the session was relief and celebration.
The shadow side of me, (as Debbie Ford likes to call it) Shelly, if you will – just wanted space in my life to be heard and acknowledged. Nothing more.
Consistent change needs consistent presence. – Laura Hames
The session I had with Emily was in January. Since then I’ve had to make time in my life to acknowledge my shadow side and give it a voice. Consistently.
Otherwise I’ll just get all backed up again emotionally. No thank you.
If you’re feeling consumed by the dark-forces within you. I highly recommend checking out Emily’s work. She’s hosting a special this month (through the end of April) 50% OFF.
A 2 Hour Session for just $75.00 – it’s more than worth it.
I think of Shelly often. The difference is that now when I think of her, I smile instead of shudder. And my life is better because of it.
Photo Credit: Amy Palko