I’ve been a keen observer of myself for some years now. In the past several, I have become even more truthful with myself and others about what I see, who I am, and what is real for me.
In my discoveries I have learned that I am an empath, “a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend the mental or emotional state of another individual.” Many of us are empaths. Hell, we probably all are, under the layers of afraid. Many of us deny ourselves the right to own this quality because fully embodying this gift means being vulnerable and open. Both of which leaves us susceptible to pain and a whole circus, wild with a slew of other feelings and emotions.
Paired with my empathism(?) is the quality some have referred to as a “shape shifter“. No, this doesn’t mean I can close my eyes and wonderfully transform into a unicorn – though that would be fabulous. I can however, easily take on the emotions and feelings of others. So much so, that I at times I question if what I am feeling is my own. It’s often more natural for me to embody circumstances from someone else’s place.
So, what does all of this mean for me now that I am awake and wide-eyed?
Well, it means that I have to be super aware of the people I spend the majority of my time with. Each person in our life is an influence. And while it may not always feel like there is a give and take in the relationship, (because usually someone almost always feels like they are the ones who give and not the other – not always, but lots,) there is always an exchange of energy. Whomever you are with, you are taking on their shit, and them yours. Or on your good days… you’re taking on their awesome, and they are taking on yours.
So now, when I wake up in the morning and when I go to bed at night, I do my best to remember to place myself in a golden bubble of love, light, and healing protection so that no energy may enter or leave without my permission.
It is mandatory that I spend time alone. In the quiet. To hear myself. To be with my words. My thoughts. My feelings. I usually do this outside, by water if I can. The space helps me clear and ground and connect with my center.
I get really clear on why I am doing something before I make big decisions. I make sure the choices I make resonate in my body. I choose from a calm, certain place (most of the time). If it feels chaotic and messy, it is not the time to choose.
I stay honest with myself. Sometimes I like hanging out with certain people because of how they make me feel. And while it may not always be a chill, centered, grounded place – it feeds a part of me. Sometimes those parts of me their presence feeds are shadowy. And that’s all okay and fine and it’s not bad. But just be real with yourself. Know why you’re choosing what you’re choosing; light or shadow. And then choose what you want. Be all in.
There are pros and cons to all of this. And while some of terms only exist in stories and the woo woo world, what I am sharing with you now are merely my own observations.
I know there are others out there reading this that can relate. And if you happen to be one of those not-so-nice readers that just don’t get it,it would be best if you take your eyes to another place, please. And know – that SO MUCH LOVE is coming your way. Because although I cannot morph into a mystical creature that probably poops rainbows, I hold an ocean of peace in my heart and it holds me tender. I will always be sharing it with each one of you.