You know Lori-Lyn, don’t you? She’s one of my incredible online friends. We’ve seriously known each for a LONG time and I think we met on Twitter of all places. Over the years we’ve done lots of offerings and cross promoting together.
Our latest idea is that we want to have a conversation with each other. But on our blogs. And, one question at a time. Lori-Lyn decided to go first (because I asked here too, hehe).
HERE’S WHAT SHE WANTED TO ASK ME:
Have you ever realized that you no longer want something you’ve been working for – and if so – what did you do?
No surprise. I love this question.
Thank you for asking. It really made me think about some things.
And, ya know, I’ve only been someone who was in things for the long hall, for a very short period of time. So it is really only recently that I’ve seen much of anything through to the end and many of those “long hall” commitments are still playing out.
THE IMPULSIVE ONE
Before I began making more valuable choices in my life and learned what the definition of integrity is – I left things I didn’t want to be a part of all the time, with little to no explanation. When I was done with something, I was done. Be it houses, jobs, boyfriends, clothes, beliefs, boundaries. I remember my Mom making jokes like, “who are you dating this week, Megan?”
It was an understood part of my family that Megan is the impulsive one.
The label of “being impulsive” carried a HUGE negative connotation in my life for a long time. I identified my impulsivity as being wreckless. When it fact, it was just my intuition showing up and I hadn’t yet learned how to you use it in a more powerful and responsible manner.
INTUITIVE ROAD BLOCK
The turning point for me was at the end of my road trip in 2010. I had every intention of traveling across the US for the rest of the year, but everything in my being wanted me to turn around and go back home. I remember crying on the phone to several people trying to understand it all and make peace with what I was feeling called to. Luckily I have some great friends that really helped me through.
I ended up listening to my body, calling me back home. A little over a year later I married The Mister and about a year a half after that, we had Sawyer (another calling to discuss, on another day).
My family was surprised when I got married and then had a kid (hell, I was too). But when my intuition takes over, I listen. It’s almost as if I have no choice. It just takes hold. And here I am coming up on my 5 year wedding anniversary! We’re more solid now than we’ve ever been.
I use to go kicking and screaming when my gut came calling. Now, I tie up as many loose ends as I can in a way that feels best to me; in a way, I can feel good about later, and then I go on my way.
These days, it is very clear to me what I want to say yes to and what I don’t. Perhaps it was because I spent so much of my youth saying yes to everything and changing my mind soon thereafter? I’m finding that more of my commitments these days are ones I thoroughly desire to see through to the end. So it leaves me saying “yes” to a lot less because I only have so much time in a day, ya know. >wink<
TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION
“Have you ever realized that you no longer want something you’ve been working for – and if so – what did you do?” Yes. I have been a part of something I longer wanted to follow through on. And when I was done, I left. Now, my process for departure is a much gentler one. I think things through a bit before I leap into action. I have the hard conversations instead of running away. I face the stuff that’s scary. But when my body/intuition/gut knows – I simply must oblige.
Now it’s your turn, LL. I had so much fun writing this. It led me to reflect on some pieces of myself and my past that I hadn’t visited in awhile. I can see now I have much more forgiveness for my choices when I was younger and where they have taken me today, than when it was actually happening. I spent a lot of time feeling compelled to choose things I was feeling called to and simultaneously ashamed because I wasn’t more being “responsible”.
But now – I am free! Thank goodness.
MY QUESTION FOR Lori-Lyn
Lori-Lyn, this is what I want to know from you, and I am SO looking forward to reading your answer. Ready?
Tell me about a time when your relationship deepened with your partner. Like a moment, when something clicked for you and you sank in deeper.