Relationships 101: Expectations Strike Again!


This weekend I went to Lewisville with my little sister to hang out with my Mom. We went to the mall, got manicures and did a little shopping. It was fun, as always when all three of us are together.

When I left Lewisville, I sent a text to The Mister letting him know I was on my way home (about an hour away).

Earlier in the day he had decided to go to a friends house that wasn’t too far from where we live.

The night before I had mentioned that I would be home at 6:00pm – not too late. So if we wanted to go out, there would be plenty of time.

When I sent the text letting him know I was on my way home, I had high hopes in my mind of him leaving where he was shortly after receiving the text and heading home soon to meet me there. Then we could start our date night as tentatively planned.

When I got home, he wasn’t there. I text him and from the sounds of it, he had no intention of coming home any time soon.

I was upset. My stocked up and over-flowing hormone supply had me crying as soon as he called me (knowing I was upset from the sound of my texts).

I wasn’t speaking with him in a kind tone. He told me he loved me, my response was “okay”. He told me he was sorry. My response was “That doesn’t make me less angry”.

I told him I wish he had communicated with me that he had intentions of staying out there later than he originally planned.

He had the car, I was stuck at home, still crying, upset and regretting how I had spoken with him on the phone.

Less than an hour later, The Mister arrived at the house. He left when the sun went down because he could no longer play horse shoes with his friends in the dark.

My eyes were swollen, my nose stopped up from a combination of crying and allergies, the anger still there a little bit but mostly, I was angry with myself for how I handled the situation.

After I calmed down and we found our way back to our group, we both apologized and things went back to normal. I’m lucky to have such a patient and understanding husband. I’m grateful for that.

Looking back, I can see clearly that all of the upset experienced on my part was attributed to the expectations I had of our evening. If I had let that go, lived in the flow more, (like I am always trying to do) there wouldn’t have been any upset.

I would have said “Okay Babe, have fun with your friends! I’ll see you when you get home!” And that’s the kind of wife I want to be. Lesson learned. At least for now.

Photo Credit: Lori Paquette