Give What You Want to Get.
Often times we get so wrapped up in our complaint about a relationship that we stop investing love into it and only focus on the lack. If you are desiring more love, affection, attention or patience in your relationship look for places where you might also GIVE more of that.
In Every Complaint There is a Request.
Nagging seems to come naturally for most of us (especially women). Pointing out what has or hasn’t been done. Where you’re right and they are wrong. Not only does this take away from your positive energy investment in the relationship it also depletes your gorgeous-beingness and increases your stock pile of crap gathering around you. The next time you feel a complaint coming on, stop your words before they come out of your mouth and look at what request you might make instead. There, you will find your power and a yellow brick road back to happiness.
Complaint: “I’ve already asked you to take out the trash 5 times today. WTF?”
Request: “Honey, when you get a second, could you take out this trash so I don’t have to worry about it anymore?”
When you ask for the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time in your loving voice, with patience and consideration not only does your significant person feel respected, but they’re likely to get the job done with more jolly because you weren’t such a pain about it. AND chances are, they remember that you’ve already asked them once. So the pleasant reminder in your lovely tone inspires them to take responsibility instead of muttering nasty things about you under their breath.
Embrace Being Vulnerable + Stop Pointing the Finger
This is a lesson I seem to learn at least 2-3 times a year. I find myself struggling in my marriage and can’t figure out why. But everything The Mister is doing is WRONG. Everything irritates me. He can’t say or do anything right. Eventually I stop and ask myself “WTF?” And just about every time it’s because I have closed my vulnerability doors. I’ve stopped sharing with him what’s going on in my head or how I feel in that moment. I’ve closed myself off and made him wrong for it.
Remember to keep your heart open. We cannot receive what we are not open to receiving. Invest your energy in that which fuels your relationship, not diminishes it.
Photo Credit: Amy Palko